My life is relatively normal. Like lots of people, I get up in the morning, I go to the office, I work, I return home, I go to bed and sleep, and then I do it all over again. Some people love their jobs, or they love their lives enough to balance our whatever it is about their jobs that they don’t like.
Me? Not so much. I used to enjoy my job, but it never felt entirely right. Now I hate my job, and I’m certain it isn’t right. Plus, I don’t really love the rest of my life. It, too, doesn’t feel entirely right.
So why do I stay? If I don’t like my job and I don’t really like the rest of my daily life, why don’t I change it? I’m sorry to say until very recently, the answer to that question could be found somewhere in the big melting pot of apprehension, fear of going against the grain, and exhausted apathy that had taken root in my soul. I told myself that no one’s life is perfect, that being an independent adult entails supporting oneself and meeting one’s responsibilities.
Another way of putting it is that I feel trapped in my life. The only good side to this: I recently realized that the only thing trapping me there was myself. I may not be able to change my current job into something I enjoy, and I may not be able to change the circumstances of my life as currently configured so that I feel at peace. But what I can do is change my life so that what I do, where I live, and how I live feel right.
A few days ago I had an epiphany. My dream life isn’t out of my reach. I know where I want to be. Now I just need to work on getting there.